Hectic Days Behind and Ahead

Hello readers,

I don't have much time to blog these days. I definitely feel like I am in medical school now. Last weekend was a huge study weekend and the test yesterday was a big headache. I cried in my seat in the middle of the exam. Don't worry, (1.) its pass fail and (2.) I pulled myself together before the end and finished feeling ok. I also worked out after the exam, which was a HUGE success.

I am really focusing on complaining less, eating healthier, and working out / de-stressing more often. I need to also focus on not overwhelming myself by taking on too much. Class alone is enough to stress me out, but with all of the extra-curricular opportunities its hard to not overdo it. I want to go to a Medical Students for Choice conference, but I doubt that's an option for me (test the following weekend) and the Tufts Ski Trip is also the weekend before an exam, so that is also a no go. So sad. The good news is, for every opportunity I miss, there are two to twenty more available for me to do next time. I have time to do everything I want, I don't need to do it all NOW! Medical school provides us with soooo much to do and so many ways to learn and grow. It is so amazing and enriching and wonderful, but also stressful and hectic!

Today my roomie made yummy squash and chicken curry and amaretto chocolate chip cookies. She invited over some friends and we all talked, watched Life (so good!) and discussed our Medical Ethics course (autonomy, beneficence, non-malefecence, and justice are the main points - we also discussed utilitarianism - do the most good, and Kant / Deontology - be moral as well as Medical Genetics and random other topics). Its all super interesting!

Since my last post, I went sailing on the Charles River (sooo pretty!), enjoyed being outdoors in the fall, went to a med school stoplight party, played frisbee on the commons, toured around with Sloane (I love visitors - especially legendary ones!), went to a festival and brunch with my local awesome uncle, and did random other fun and exciting things. I have a lot of fun, but usually there is this nagging urge to go to the library to study that is hanging over my head during my fun times. It is hard to forget how much I have to do all the time, and I try really hard to let myself take breaks and forget about medical school for a while.

Minor setbacks - but don't worry - I still prefer med school to other options (AKA a job, normal grad school, unemployment, and worst of all law school) and am so glad I am here!

I wanted to write last week about interviewing. I had a moment where I was really able to visualize myself as a doctor and it was a scary thing to visualize. SOOOooooo much is expected from us, and it is terrifying to have so much impact on peoples' lives!! The feelings I had in that moment are long gone (replaced with memorized fat synthesis pathways or something similar or lost on the shelves of the library somewhere). Oh well, that feeling be back I'm sure!